Genie's corner

A Vietnamese lady

1:33

I cannot hate you. No matter what happens, I still don’t regret choosing you. Even if I had a second chance to pick again, I would always choose you.
I wondered if you deleted all the apps we use together, since I couldn’t do it. I don’t know what My Day and Lovebyte is counting for anymore.
Seth, I can never tell you enough how much I love you. And I’m so done now since I don’t have a chance anymore.
Today I went to the Bonfire and Homecoming king/queen crowning, then Fireworks, and Towerlights. I was having too much fun til I realized, I was alone. I didn’t mind being alone before because I always knew I had you. But now, but not now. I saw people hugging, holding hands and kissing while watching fireworks blew up; I caught myself remembering the time you were holding me while fireworks lighted up Chicago’s sky. These fireworks here are way better than the ones we saw in front of that ferris wheel let me tell ya; but the feelings I had with you, it is irreplacable.
I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to have new feelings. I don’t want to do that. I want to see you, to be with you.
I wonder if your heart breaks like mine. I wonder if the image of my face ever flash up in your mind.
I love you, the most, within every other boys in this world.
I cannot hate you, Anh.


18:21

Maddy told me she’s impressed, “Genie you’re so brave”
At first I didn’t know what she meant. Am I brave? Am I? How did she define ‘brave’?
“You’re handling it so well, if I were you I would not go to class I wouldn’t know what to do, I would just curl up in bed”
Haha..
If only I am brave, if only what she said is half true. I guess I just want to be functional, but I’m clearly not brave.
Yes, I went to all of my classes.
And cried in every single one of them. Multiple times.
It sucked.
And now I hate choir. I looked at the piece “Christmas time is here”, and I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t know where to hide, I was trapped with Christmas song and happiness while I felt horrible and I hate Christmas…
I couldn’t stop myself from crying. My tears don’t care if I’m in public or I’m alone, it just keeps running.
As if I’m now a body without a soul, I don’t really want to feel anything, though heartaches come so many times today.
I’m not brave at all, I can’t handle this. Why am I so good at proving to people that I’m strong, how can I fake my mood so well…
I hope nobody caught me crying,
Even if somebody saw and stared at me, I wouldn’t be able to stop anyway…


2:01

Why don’t you teach your heart to feel
I give you love love
give you love love
give it all away


9:50

Opened the app after a long time of disconnection,

found fatal messages…

please don’t do this to me…


9:37

Sitting in a computer lab doing homework
Not even back in the room
Internet’s not working
No food in sight
Missing him
Ugh







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